It is very frustrating, painful and it hurts my heart and soul to scribble on a kind of practice that seems to be taking full control of the teenage society. (teenage parenting and its challenges) Teenage parenthood makes us to grow faster, much faster than we can think. Most of the time people do their calculations and wonder how come am 41 and Laone is 24, it is the issue of teenage pregnancy. The others go to the extent of asking me how and what it was like to be a teen mother.

It is now 24 years in this career of motherhood. I have seen myself pushing this career unconsciously so, without having to study for it; motherhood is natural career that you just find yourself growing into it.
I became a  teenage mum I never dreamed of, did not know what was all about, all I achieved was through trial and error  of hectic moments but ultimately am here and all that matters is striving to be a happy and content mother .happiness not meaning it’s there  24/7 kind of. I still experience hit backs of depression, anxiety and fear.

Becoming a mother is supposed to be one of the best compensated tasks one can ever have.it is a job where we work without shifts all day, all week, all month, and all year. It is a non-ending job that begins when an individual is born till death do us part. No matter how old your children are, you shall mother them. It’s paid in smiles -and great personal satisfaction. Motherhood is supposed to be very enjoyable but at the same time is coupled with fear.

But for me, by then and for every teenage girl going through parenthood it is not. It all started out as been a young and frustrated seventeen year old girl. Teenage parenting is  not a very glamorous story, but one thing for sure it has built me to be the super-cool mum that I am.my teenage parenting has unleashed the now super-cool mum of 4 kids.

Unlike all mothers who had a picture of motherhood in their mind, I had none. I have never had a chance to read parenting books, never listened to friends for advice on motherhood. I hit it head on at the age of 17 not knowing what it is. I grew up with my grandmother and such topics were out of bounds in those days. I completely did not have any idea of the mother I wanted to become.by the way, nobody was aware of the teenager being pregnant; it was also not that easy to disclose to my parents such a sinful act. Hence I had no training of any kind. I did not even look up to anyone as deep inside I had the idea that one day Jesus will come and remove  whatever that was inside me .I did not get chance  to read parenting  magazines or attend  any parenting  classes

Being a teen parent is a very hard and frustrating job. It is a moment in time where one struggles to accept their own existence and identity. It comes to a time where you completely forgot who you are and why you are there and if you will ever leave that space and move to the other. It is a moment in time when you deal with stigma and judgement from the society. It is a moments where your parents are labelled in the community. The community see a ten mum as the prodigal child. The other parents go to extend of reprimanding their girls not to be around you. Society sees a teen mother as poisonous and unclean. Teen motherhood can be stage that eat you to the bone marrow

TEEN MOTHERHOOD: KNOCK..KNOCK 
KGALA: COME IN 
04 July 1996 I saw myself with a baby in my hands. It started with pains that made me feel it’s my day to die… The labor pains, they were very strangely painful but they kind of made my body to know what is supposed to do and it took only 4 hours of a kind of like dramatic unknown scene. Then boom boom !!!!  Kgala is a teenage mum

I did not know what the next step from there was on. The days, weeks and months passed by and I began to realize I am a mum I never had a picture of , I am a mum I never dreamed of , I am a teenage mum at 17.I saw myself automatically knowing how to breast feed, how to bath  and how to dress the baby. He was much of a sleeper so we spent much of our time sleeping, I get used to his cries quickly.

SUPPORT STRUCTURE 
It was not by might nor by any power but it was by the Spirit of GOD (ZECHARIA 4:6) .I have seen and received so much parental support from my parents, being a teenage mum is not easy as drinking a cup of milk.it is coupled with fear, stigma, anxiety and depression still not sure how I survived the teenage mother phase.
I had a very strong support structure to raise my kids. I was a teenage mother whose parents stepped in to cover for. I saw my parents feeding my kids, they bathed and clothed them. Most importantly I saw them loving them.

NOT A TROPHY MOMENT….. Being a teenage parent  is not a trophy moment. Being a teenage mum does not need any applause. Hear me very well on this issue. Regardless of how sinful others can perceive it, it still needs strong parental structure. Every parent to a teenage mother has to shout, yell or use any other method to show disappointment and hurt, but ultimately there has to be that support that I felt. Thank you very much TIDIMALO, thank you very much KOONTSE, thank you very much THE LATE GABODIWE, THE LATE LETLANANG. I am and will be forever grateful. The parental support I got as a teenage mother is wow!!!!!
Teenage motherhood is the part in life where you have to go through stigma, a stage where you have to face fear of the unknown. Teen motherhood is coupled with the fear that your future dreams might not suffice. A stage where fear is so elevated that failure in life is only visible.

Being a teen parent is a challenge. A stage where reality strikes when you see your class mates pass by from and to school, a stage where u don’t know if u will ever go forward with life.
Being a teenage mother, no matter how painful and frustrating it can mold one to a powerful woman, being a teenage mum is coupled with disappointments, shame stress. So note that taking care of yourself  is very important. In our times we did not have much access to the digital and online life as compared to now.so in order to surviving teenage motherhood, make blogging platforms your friend to find empowerment and hope. We share our stories so you can see that you still have the power

To every teenage girl, motherhood is a first time experience. I had no idea what having a child was like. I had to learn breastfeeding, had to experience sleepless nights, I had to cry with him at times. All the above constitutes POSTNATAL DEPRESSION, but I did not know I had it till at this moment. As I relate back I realized if my parents were aware, they could have arranged some counselling for me
Talking about teenage pregnancy and teenage parenting  is not easy, asking people about it is not easy, but doing a research in the available digital platforms makes life much easier.

Teenage pregnancy and childbearing have for some years been regarded as difficult and grave problems for the United States. Although policies and programs have been developed to reduce the incidence of children having children, their combined impact has been minimal, and the rates of adolescent pregnancy and childbearing remain high. As the Center for Population Options noted in 1988, a cycle of poverty often begins with an unintended adolescent pregnancy. Teenage pregnancies do not occur in a vacuum. Too often they are the product of economic disadvantage and inadequate educational systems, of poor housing, family instability, and the emotional deprivation associated with it. Because the children of teenage mothers have an even slimmer chance of escaping these conditions, they, too, may become adolescent parents.

The reality of almost 1 million teenage pregnancies a year demonstrates that this country’s social and economic systems are failing a substantial proportion of our young citizens and, in doing so, are helping to perpetuate and enlarge the number of poor and badly educated men and women.https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK235276/

Thanks for joining me!!!. My name is Kgalalelo Mothibedi. I am a mother of  four beautiful and grown up kids( Laone 24, Kaelo 20, Khumo 14 and Obakwe 8) .I look forward to sharing my motherhood journey with you to empower and motivate you that motherhood is indeed a wonderful hood to be in .

In the next blog will share on surviving teenage mother hood at the same time re-finding your identity, learning to love yourself and the baby, juggling with school as a teen mother 

 

4 Comments

  1. Thank you for your heartfelt openness and realness about your motherhood journey. It’s powerful how as mothers we learn how to adapt eventually.

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